Linda's Site

It's had been a very long time since my last blog in multiply. Went KL with 2 of my close yonger god-sister on the 28th April - 1st May 2009. It had been a years plus after we had our sister oversea at 2008 to taiwan. Although this time round we are missing of our dajie, which she cant join us cause she had a new born baby clarice with her this year. During the trips we are so happy, till the last day me and xiaomei had a misunderstanding or can say I shouldnt show my temper when xiaomei suggest to buy other stuff for dajie as our trip gift from us sister. It had been nearly 2 month xiaomei and I didnt contact each other. Honestly, I miss her. Actually after what had happen, there is outing that we sister can go out together like ai qing hai anniversary and during our jie-fu birthday and my birthday. But in the end, she didnt turn up, maybe she is still angry with me or can say don't want me this sister le bahx. I got think before of giving up all our sistership all at once, I am trying to let go, but I just cant let go any of them. Is like 4 of us, YM,me,W,W had been sister for like 8years plus.. We had went through so many thin and thick together, we do have misunderstand or didnt even stand on each other shoes and think before. But in the end, we are still sister after all, but this time... is like 2 month already nei, izit me n xiaomei really no hope already? Dajie and wenya mei told me to give xiaomei more time, she need more time that's all of us know and stuff. But... I do give time to her, even now I still waiting for her forgiveness, but will she? I did send the card I told dajie before that I wrote for each sister during my birthday, that I wanted to pass to each of them 1, but I am scare that xiaomei will not read it and just throw it away when she receive it. Cause till now I didnt get any news from her yet, I did the first step to contact her after so long of courage to step it out, but will she read it? Have she recieve it?

My boyfriend say we had been sister for so long, no matter is whose fault on whatever matter, as long as 1 party are willing to take the first step it will turn out fine 1 days. But when will this fine day come to me and xiaomei again?

Jia qing jia yi. I will only be jia qing jia yi to those friends that treat me that way, but towards my sister, and people I care alot, I really been so true to them. Can they feel that way that I really care so much for them? Or did they felt that all this years, times or whatever or whoever. I really those kinda person jia qing jia yi, just so fake to them. =(

Maybe I am not a good friends/sister to be with, don't deserve to have any true friends in my life.

Lin

Today work morning shift, the cab uncle so stupid morning call me at 4am today and say will come at 5.15am to fetch me. But why so early called me, I don't have enough sleep la. Dragging myself to start preparing for work. Normally, I went down to my 1st floor living room and wait for the cab come to my house door than I go out, but today when I reach 1st floor living room my handphone rang again, rush me out. WTH, only 5.05am and reach my house, so early and yet you drive so fast, so why come and fetch us so early =(. On the way to airport, the uncle receive a called saying Bt. Timah road have accident, so he turn other road to airport. But yet, still reach airport too early, reach at 5.30am lo, my supervisor who have to come open the door also haven reach. I already reach earlier than anyone in our shop ='(

Today work and work, I don't know what happen, recently more and more don't feel like working anymore. Although all the misunderstanding is clear and I have already out down all the unhappy thing between all colleague but yet I don't know why I feel more and more sianx at work, suddenly feel like changing a new job that can fly oversea to work those kind. Actually yesterday night before sleep I plan with dear dear to go ang mo kio order birthday cake for my xiaomei, but last minutes he text me saying he going sailing for 1 day today, so only can go this coming weekend, hope the cake can be done by 20th December. Today though have work OT till late evening wait till night shift people come to work today, but yuppie in the end the night shift people come to work on time at 3.30pm. When home myself today, so bored.

Reach home have my early dinner, after that went up to my own room, and without notice I fall asleep on my bed till 7.30pm. After wake up, I force myself to take a bath, and watch tv asking myself by not sleeping so early, if not in the midnight I wake up and cant sleep I will be died tomorrow for work.

After our sister trips on 7th december 2008. And after I upload photo, I went back to browse all the photo we sister had take together, and think back all the outing or gathering all is our younger two sister plan and do all the stuff. I feel so bad and kinda guilty, why everything also throw to them and plan. Been me and yongmei jie sister, both of them really so xin ku, that's what I feel la. Is I really too lazy to plan with them, or I really don't know how to plan or scare plan le they don't enjoy themselves, that's why didn't dare to plan any program, I guess higher percentage is scared plan already they don't enjoy themselves, and spoil their whole day. In another words still no confident on myself bahx, and I think I am a really bored person, that's why no great idea to share and plan for anyone. I really such a boring person.

Linda

I feel more n more unfair at work, I serve and serve and swear in my heart I do my best to serve every customer, even I know is a stone (mean doesn't buy anything after serving) I still serve till the customer walk out of the shop with a smile on them, and say thanks you to me. And why I serve and have big customer people red eyes?They also can caught their own big customer, sometime is their inpatient make them lose the customer, and whenever I going to close the customer they give up, they give me that kinda eyes sign like wanna eat me up, sometime even more worse tell me is their customer and hinting me to give them the sales. And to a group of us that doesn't complaint much on small mistake between colleague and colleague made, why the other group of people just can't do it??? And that up line just believe what those people complaint? We don't complaint doesn't mean we don't remember what you all did or what you say. And the way up line talk to us about what those complaint queen or king have say, it's so obvious that you are siding them. This month I really feel so wei qu, cried at work once cause of "A" on 7th oct,angry with "A" twice, at home think back the time before individual sale start we are such a good family together, cried in my heart, thing just changed~! And why "A" been complaint by customer so many time and she still didn't get any hard punishment or warning letter? But when they see us do thing that they see they not happen and complaint the up line will help them come and talk to us and say what, he didn't don't trust us, or whatever shit. The way he talk and say thing to us, make us feel YOU ARE JUST SIDING THEM, and stop pretending that you are NOT or trying to be good to us.

I AM REALLY SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THIS STUPID FRACKING FXXX THING!!! Even take leave, my leave of approval always the last to be consider and must really have a good reason than I can get my leave. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?? Than why people say wanna go back malaysia or whatever shit, their leave are so easy approval? But to me, it's such a HARD THING???WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!!!!! If this world really have "bao ying", I really make this wish that all the people who bully me and make thing so unfair to me this life to get their "bao ying" on their next life MILLION and BILLION of time back to them FROM ME on their NEXT LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sad
Linda

Today I work afternoon shift, wake up at 9plus, start playing with my com, watch tv and also start preparing to work. After I finish bathing went down to have my bunch before I go to work. Reach airport at 2plus. Meet A for coffee or tea before start work. When to work at 3.25pm, actually before I went out for work from home, I msg xiaomei. But no reply from her. Is cause she too busy till she forget to reply, or our distance went farer and farer? Or cause I am too sick till I anyhow think again?

Work and work, no much voice to talk but still need to serve customer. Today I need to take over my colleague C shift work till 1am too, I really don't wish to work till so late, but haix, no choice. Heard nowadays all people don't like to do OT. Today manager should be working morning shift, but he stay till 6plus in the evening. And he print out so many new rules and etc out from the HQ for us. Total there is 8 full A4 pages for us to read and remember all the rules and changes that we have to take note on our work. OMG, why must change so many thing? Morning shift cant take breakfast and go buy breakfast, and our break time also cant over 7am-10am. Dinner also cant go later than 7pm-10pm. And alot alot more, cant finish from here. Sick and yet read all this rules make me more headache. Whole day been waiting for reply too. Work make me feel more and more tired.

Luckily today at night have some customer to serve, if not I really feel like fainting standing there and do nothing. Now I think use work to numb myself is the best. Work work work~~!!!!!!

Today the taxi also drive so slow, and I am the last to drop down, by the time I reach home is already 2.10am in the early morning le. Take a shower before sleep. After shower, eaten my own medicine that I had last time. Having fever too, take 2 panadol. Been cool sweat, block nose and lots more.

sick cat
Linda

                                                   Red wine in can?

                                                    3 Red Wine in Can?

Today is my last day of work, and I will have my off day tomorrow. Yuppie, finally off. Today after work reach home at around 4pm, saw mummy outside the house dry swimming with her old friends. Seat outside see them play while =) After awhile, I need went to watch tv in my 1st living room, but my 2 sister and my niece berlyn are playing and shouting, so noisy. My youngest sister still stare at me so rude. I tell her, come over and stare at me. I really feel so qi. All my sibling are still so young, in the family really no one can share my stress at work or even share my problem and no one at home actually understand how I feel on all the thing happen at house, and no one know what I am worried about my parent. Recently the share makert really so unstable ask them to be carefully not to invests so much into it, repeated myself so many time after their last time failure in the share. Just why they still don't learn their lesson. So many oversea bank close down and etc, why still wanna pay and hope to earn shortcut money, I know I can't earn that much to stratified them, anyway I earn how much also not enough to stratified them.

Went back to my room and rest awhile before my cousin come and fetch us to go out dinner with us tonight, today is my treat again, as normal after my pay of every month I need to bring them to go out eat. This is a promise I make to myself for them, I went to pay my hp bills too 210buck for 5 lines. Luckily my colleague already pay all their bills to me le. After dinner we went to seng siong at khabit. After doing some of our shopping there, our cousin fetch us back home again, thanks korkor for sending us home. After reach home, I went back to my own room and on my desktop and play with my facebook. And after that, blog up here. And listen to my music. Going to sleep after blogging. Night ppl.

Linda

Today is my 1st day of work after my off day yesterday. Today cab uncle want me to get ready by 5.10am, cause I will be the 1st person to hop on the cab. So tired, actually plan to take a short nap before reaching airport, but who know the cab uncle keep on talking to me about the F1 race thing and tell me his journey from last night before coming to fetch me, like from what time to what time he fetch his passenger from where to where and what time he had his breakfast. Haix, I am not interested in his history of his driving yesterday night.

Today airport was so crowed, this morning sales really goods =) but I still need a few thousand to hit my 100k target, bag and earphone target I give up le, cause I wont hit the 9k anyway le. I only hit mobile gear target. Hopefully this coming new month will be a better month for me =) I got my next month schedule today, back to normal 4 days morning and 4 days afternoon, no more whole month morning anymore. So sad =( But I meeting alot with those people I hate them at work. How??Will I be able to tolerant them this coming month while working with them??Haix, let's hope for the best and nothing big will happen this coming month.

I end work at 2.30pm, but I serve customer till around 2.40pm, reach home around 3plus going 4pm. I think I will miss always work morning and reach home in the evening time. It's raining so heavily half way back home, called back home and ask my maid to bring out bigger umbrella out at the bus stop and wait for me. But no use worx, my pants still all wet, even my bag also all wet aiyoz. After I reach home, rest awhile in the living room and went back to my room and take my shower before I eat my dinner. Have my dinner at around 7plus, after dinner went back to my room and start chatting with my friend online.

Whenever I am free now, I feel so moody, and I keep on asking myself the same question this few days, can I really tolerant his attitude in future if we really get marry and alot alot more. Not only I am stress at work, cause afraid I cant hit my target at work, still on my relationship. Feel so fed up and angry whenever he blame thing on me, when he called, I am outside with my colleague background already very noisy, and I am trying my very best to hear what he saying, and I really not do it purpose to hang his phone, cause I am telling him I am going to put down the phone, since I cant hear much what he is trying to tell me and ask me, must well called me back at night or something, but when he repeated himself on what he wanna tell me or ask me more than 2 time, he himself will get angry on it, I hear and answer him I feel more angry. Than he called back after I put down the phone after telling him bye and ask him to called back again, but he called back and blame me and say why you hang my phone, DONT YOU THINK YOU ARE TOO MUCH??? After hearing this, I feel more flame out, but still I tell him nicely I did say goodbye to you and ask you to call back, you didn't hear ma? I don't he is really didnt hear and etc. What I know is before he really put down, he tell me he got thing to do so he need to put down the phone le, so of course I say ok ok, you go do your thing, bye bye. I repeated this 2 time, cause i scare he cant hear me, cause on that day when he called me, he keep on cant hear what I say, so I always answer him by repeating myself more than 3 time. I already very pek chek on repeating so many time and angry on the blame he give me on that day. Before he hang up, he still say, so now you want me to faster hang up the phone la?? Than I was like ????? I reply him, is you yourself say you got thing to do and wanna hang up de ma. Like that he also get angry with me again. I don't what I can do to really maintain this relationship anymore haix.

Night I am going to sleep,eyes closing soon.

FAN FAN
DRINK ANY1???

Linda

Today I working morning shift, Uncle ask me to be ready at 5.10am, I was like hmmm... How come today so early?? But I didn't ask much, cause I see the contact number is an different number as usual, so just say ok and jump up from my bed and get ready to work. So tired, although I slept 9plus yesterday night I still feel so tired =( And this few days I don't feel well too,below my right side stomach if don't touch it don't feel the pain, but if pass down will feel the pain -_-||| But I just will be fine after few days bahx. Though can go home at 2.30pm to rest, but today got acer training in warehouse =(. Every time training and training, this month this is the 3rd product training we have le =(.

Today after work see people have newspaper saying about Olympic table-tennis, Li Jia Wei lost her game, and night she going to vs guo yue to get her bronze medal, I have to stay at home and watch her match again. The match start at 7.30pm, When I reach home is already 5.05pm, rest awhile, wait for auntie and mummy to cook dinner and I will have my early dinner today =). After dinner is already 6.30pm, when straight up after my dinner and rest awhile went to bath and come out, the match started. See them play really sweat, first game point to china, second game point to china too. OMG, Li Jia Wei have lost straight 2 game to china, I thought there is no more hope for singapore, but the 3rd game Li Jia Wei come back to the game and win singapore the first match, 2vs1, the 4th game singapore won too 2vs2. That is a hard game for Jia Wei to catch up straight 2 game winning. But in the 5th and 6th game Jia Wei still lost to Guo Yue 4vs2, singapore lost the women single bronze medal in Olympic 2008. A little disappointed, but really wanna say this to TSP from singapore that have go for Olympic table-tennis for singapore, you all did singapore proud!!! All the way to the future Olympic, I believe 1 day singapore will do it, beat china that impossible mission =) in table-tennis. So admire Li Jia Wei now ('',)

Today work morning shift, wake up at 4.10am, stupid new taxi uncle just call and my phone rung for once tone and hang up already, expect me to call him back. I waited for another 15mins before I call him back see if he will call me back himself, but he didn't.WT.... if those people who sleep and not easy wake up and can't hear the phone ringing like this? & when I get up the cab only plus me 3 people, normally to me is either I am the first person to get up or the 4th which is the last to get into the cab. But today, strange only 3 people and what I have think this morning really happen, someone can't wake up cause of this kinda morning call and he never wait for him and he went to fetch the rest of us.

Today reach airport at 4.45am, the shop is still not open yet, so as normal I seat at the fish pound there and wait for my supervisor to come and open the door for us. I saw my supervisor and my god-pa come together to open the door. Hahax, they on the same cab? Maybe =)

When I get into the shop, on the whole shop light and put my bag, and start punch card for everyone in the morning shift that have already arrival =). And I saw a pieces of paper which have a arrow for all stuff and promoter to read the paper. And when I read the paper information than I know that my colleague that have take urgent leave frm 16th july 2008 - 18th july 2008 mother have pass away, the paper standard the place where his mother wake is hold on. Was busy asking who anyone going to his mother wake and etc. So asked both my god-pa there, one of them not going, the other one going tomorrow. Supervisor, 2 cashier and 1 of my colleague going today, so I decided to go with them today. And last minutes cancel my date with my bf. Actually, I was planning to go bugis pray pray today and go slim square to find for my memory card. But cause going to my colleague mother wake I don't think I will go pray pray in bugis.

End work at 3.30pm, and I went home myself, cause the whole singapore like raining very heavily today after 11plus in the morning. So I ask my bf not to come and fetch me after my work, actually want him to fetch me home and get changed than we go shop shop de, but he say still raining too heavily he is not coming to fetch me. Than I say I am ok ah, I can go back myself by public transport. Reach home already 4.45pm, I was so tired, rest awhile and on my heater to get ready to bath before I go out again. Was busy message my colleague ask my supervisor how? I meet them at where than I can ride his car and go together. But me and my bf have a miscommucation, he thought I will go bedok mrt and he from there fetch me go to my colleague mother wake, and go together. But I think is cause I ask him at the first place, he wanna go together with me anot. BB, sorry I shouldn't have always ask u wanna go with me anot, but in the end, I didn't meet you and go together. =( Than always make you so angry with me. Haix...

We went to eat after my supervisor come and fetch me, than my colleague "C" and than colleague "J" than we meeting colleague "R" at bedok food court 85 there and eat our lunch cum dinner together =) before we go to colleague "A" mother wake. When reach there, saw colleague "A" he have change so much during his 1 week of leave. Thinner and look so restless. And he didn't eat much also, as I ask him to seat down and force him to eat something before he walk around and all and before we go we see him eat finish what he take for himself. And ask him to take care of himself before we leave. We leave at around 9.30pm. My colleague "R" send me to bedok mrt interchange to meet my bf and my bf send me home, and supervisor send colleague "J" & "C" back home =)

Reach home bath and blog listen to song. And off I go sleep. Night people I am so tired.

Sorry BB for all the miscommuication =(
Linda

Today I was on morning shift. I am working with My god-daddy B and A. Work and work, today I going to meet wenya mei after work for dinner =).

So long we have not go out for dinner together ever since after my birthday this year. While I reach amk first, while waiting for mei to come I walk around in amk. After about half an hours later, xiao mei reached amk. We meet and go to pepper lunch at amk hub to have our dinner. Well, we chit chat while having our dinner. Was talking about tomorrow our sister gathering. Where and what our wendy mei have decided to bring us for dinner tomorrow. =) after dinner we went to Fairprice in amk hub, brought some ham and food back home, after that we both walk to bus interchange and take our bus back home. After reach home, I bath and watched tv. Very tired today, after watching tv till 10pm I am so tired till I went to bed and I sleep, and my boyfriend called me and wake me up. After that, I cant sleep till I turn here and there and finally decided to come online and type out what I feel and what I am thinking. Before I come online and type this blog, I cried while thinking. The more I think the more I cant get to sleep.

Actually I been thinking alot ever since what I seen & read bahx. Think back the pass although is our decision together to take out "K" in our namelist is all we agree on but is my ideas and is I brought up this to everyone. Although wenya mei know about how I feel on this matter, and say it's not my fault everyone agree on, so there is nobody fault. But.... I still feel most partly is my stupid ideas bahx. And about we always do decision and you are the last to know as what you mention, when "K" was with us, she also the last our decision and now you finally feel how "K" feel when she is the last to know our decision. We really always let you be the last to know all our decision??Is it really our fault to let you know our last decision??I am not trying to blame anyone here, is just that I really need somewhere to say out how I feel that have keep inside me for the pass 1 month plus. I always have a wish that .... that someone will appear and taking part in my birthday celebration one of any of this pass year. Maybe is I expected for years and even till now my that wish still never come true and maybe is too much I ask from...Way too much bahx. And this years before my birthday, I went batam with my whole family, but before that we will chatting about are we going to meet after I come back on batam that day which is my actual birthday, will we be meeting. And hear you say maybe this year will be different, make me feel so happy. And waiting to meet on that day even is just a simple dinner, just 2 of us or the 4 of us together I am also happy. But till few days back, I saw picture that are post on different date and so on your profile. I do feel hurts inside, and been asking myself till now this moment when I am typing this blog, will I do the same decision as what I have done 7-8years ago to my close friend.

Where is all the sistership and trust gone to? And been saying this to each 1 of us before, there is nothing to hide from to each and every single of us. And why you still doesn't trust us and tell us what happen to you, what are you afraid of? Although we always nag and say thing that you don't like to hear or make "ni wei nan", you should know that is not what we really mean. I got "xin hui yi leng" feeling. And I though that we are sister that will really never hide anything and really can help each other or even by each other side when 1 of us needed anyone to be there for her. But.... ='(

Btw, I wanted to say I am really sorry to you, sorry that sometime I really very straight forward and say thing that hurt you, sorry that always say thing make you so wei nan, sorry that didn't did much to build up enough trust between us, make you suffer alone for the pass 2month that you didn't meet us and talk to anyone of us. And sorry for making you feel hurt and bad after reading my whole blog. Don't feel really that bad, I am not blaming on you, but really hope you can tell us what you are thinking or what is in your heart. We really wanted to know every single thing of each other to know what is the problem or how that person think, if not misunderstanding or whatever thing will come and if no one bother to clear it or do anything about it. Nothing can help. Really nothing....

Sad
Lin

Working morning shift today. Sales wasnt that good today. Thinking of going to buy a new cupboard for my room, I got too much stuff in room. So ask my mummy to ask my daddy to bring me to ikea tonight to buy the new cupboard, thought is my daddy going to pay for the cupboard cause she is ok. In the end, after finish my mummy also buy some box for my youngest sister to put her toys,hanger,wash toilet etc. And in the end, I pay all the thing including my new cupboard. I am so angry, i pay 346buck for all the thing. I feel I so "yi xiang qing yuan" and a fool to always believe all your words especially when thing that invoules $$$$.& what more is pass few days my mummy still can ask me, how much I have in my CPF and ask me can I help to pay the house for my daddy for what I have in my CPF. Am I really a ATM to you all. Always press jiu have de?? I really such a fool to always believe you all. Now still ask me to go learn car and go get my car license and say what will get a new car for me. You think I will believe you again, and what more now is a car, much much more expensive, will I still dare to believe you and go get my car license!!!!!!

Just so angry, when I get back home, straight away I just go back to my own room. Come online and write this blog. After writing, I feel much more better.

Night
Linda 

Today walk up at 12plus. Wake up too lazy to do anything, so I start going online do nothing. After that went down to have meal, cause I still need to eat my meal before taking my medicine today. So I went down to have my breakfast cum lunch. Porridge with other stuff, that my auntie have cook. All food taste so tasteless, I need to some taste, so I decided to put some chilli source in my food, although I know I can't have spicy food, but still I still have it. Cause I need some taste, but I still can't taste anything even I put chilli, but doesn't matter la, after meal eat my medicine. After medicine, on my sister computer at level 1 to go online. This 2 days I been trying to go into viwawa and play games, I just cant go in. So I tried my sister computer see if I can go into it anot. Who know also can't login. So I give up, in the end I went to youtube and watch ying ye 3 jia 1. From ep 1 to now ep 4. So funny and touch. How I wish I have a understanding boyfriend too. Where is my real Mr.Right? haix.

Today my daddy is coming back at night. My mummy ask me wanna go airport fetch him anot. I say I am sick still need to go ah? Can I don't go? She just keep quiet and in the end, went back to her mj session. Today will be my mummy last day of mj session, cause daddy is back. She cant everyday play mj le. Lolx

After eating dinner, went back to my room and wait for a shower. And have my medicine at 9plus. Actually wanna sleep early after medicine, but in the end watch ying ye 3 jia 1 till 12 plus =)

Linda

Today sleep till I didn't wake up till my auntie call me at 1.30pm. Than I realise my voice is worse than yesterday. Totally no voice to talk today. I feel so pek chek cause I cant talk much or can say cant even talk at all. Than my auntie still keep on asking me thing and stuff that cant just use knock head than she will understand. And keep on asking my mummy to call my handphone to ask me stuff too. Today see my handphone ring I feel so pek chek and angry, cause I can't talk at all, than my mummy ah, called my handphone I already try my best to say hello and ask her what? She can't hear me too, so I pek chek de hang up the call, in the end, ask my auntie why I didn't answer her call and all. I say I got answer but with my tone and voice she can't heard, what can I do with my this tone and voice? So pek chek right? They already know I cant talk still keep on asking me go see doctors can?Mummy bring you go or later you go yourself and all. I really don't wanna answer at all la, I feel so sick and pek chek with my voice and tone. Sorry that I treat you all so badly today. But since you all know I can't talk much, stop asking me so many question. ;(

Anyway, decided to go see doctors at around 6.35pm. Went with my auntie and my bao bei(youngest sister). I feel that my vision was so blur and head dizzy tell I can't really walk, but cause I am with my auntie and my bao bei, I cant just faint off bahx, if not my auntie will scare till where la, so in the end, I endure till I am in the clinic and seat in there to wait to see doctors. This time round luckily is a different doctors. My fever have been on and off since saturday. Doctors say I am too sick and give me all the other medicine and stronger medicine for me and give me 2 days MC. This doctor at least better than the previous doctor. Is not cause he give me 2 day mc I say him good, at least he really ask me thing and know I am so sick he give me stronger medicine. The doctors also say, what he give me cant help me to have my voice back. Ask me to really have a very good rest this few days.

After doctor, went to see if any herbal tea to buy and drink. I hope my voice come back asap. After everything, went back by bus. And eat my dinner, after dinner I ate all my medicine. Haix. First time I sick till need to take 3 days MC for work,sick till so serious. And come online chit chat awhile and blog awhile, before my medicine got all the effect of drowsiness. I would like to tell all my friends out there, please do take care of yourself too. Don't fall sick =)

Sick
Linda

1st: Happy 21st birthday to you (my beloved wenya mei)

Today wake up at 7plus, cause auntie phone ring. And I was quite shocked up till I seat up the bed and find the sound, but saw auntie come into my room and pick up the phone, I went back to sleep. The air-con was so cold till I cover the whole blanket to my whole face and all. Till like a ice ball in the bed today. Even till auntie wake up and start chatting with me, I still laying on bed cover with blanket. Till I go off air-con, and went to wash up myself too. Till wenya wake up and wash up herself I still in bed with my blanket siax. So cold ~ ~ ~ ~

Auntie cook some corn and some other stuff for our breakfast, we decided not to go and have breakfast in the aranda lounge cause the thing there sucks. Not good to have it too. I still like it to have our breakfast ourselves. While having our breakfast we start to clear our new room too. Wenya sweeping the floor. While eating my breakfast, wenya sweeping the floor. After my breakfast wenya also finish her floor, so me and auntie start mopping the floor for her too. Hehex. After finishing everything, we went to jackpot room at the NTUC. Auntie changed 20buck and play, wenya also change 20buck and play. Me and wenya don't know how to play, but still we play awhile and all. Don't care just play lo, in the end, wenya win the jackpot win 150buck worx. Her luck was so good, keep winning and winning. Good good, wenya good sign on ur birthday ah. Hehex. After winning, we asked her to go off. Don't play le, cause win jackpot must go liao, if not will lost back de. Hehex.

After her winning, we went to NTUC there auntie and me buy some 4D and walk walk around there. After that we went to food court and have our lunch me and wenya share. Hehex. After eating, we went back to the room and rest. Wenya was so tired, she went back to the room and take a nap, while me and auntie stay in the living room and watch tv, and eat some small snacks. While watching tv, auntie also tired. She lay on the sofa and take a nap, while me was playing psp alone. Till wenya phone ring and I asked auntie to answer the phone for her. Sorry auntie wake you up, cause I can't answer her phone for her ah. Hehex. After auntie went to fetch wenya grandparent, wenya also wake up, and she found herself hungry too. She finding thing for herself to eat.

She went to bathe and change, after she is done, I went to bathe too. Today all her relative coming for her birthday, her auntie also start coming in with all the food she have prepared for her birthday. Hehex. My boyfriend also have to come to her birthday party later, cause she want to see her jie-fu. And her mummy also want to see my boyfriends. So I have to asked him to come over. While waiting for xiao mei to come, I have to hide her present and later let the birthday girl find her present too. She been looking up and down for her birthday present, she cant find her birthday present so I decided to ask her mummy to come and and help her find too.

Finally she found her present, we asked her to open up her present. Before she open her present she was reading her birthday card from us too. After that, when her mummy come out from the toilet she also start opening her present. Hehex. While she opening her present I am video her surprise look when she receive her present. Will upload all the photo and video I take in her chalet for her. =)

Today I decided to go back home, cause seem to be like alot of her relative stay overnight in the chalet, than I scare later she feel paiseh cause have no bed for me and she have to sleep with me in the living room, so I decided to go back home, at least if I go back home, she can sleep with her relative in the room, no need to sleep with me in the living room. =) So I tell auntie about it too, I am going back home. :)

Thanks for my boyfriend to send me home, but in the end when I reach home, when I reach home, I kena misunderstand by her. From the beginning when I tell her I am going my friend chalet from which date to which date, she have this thinking thought I go out with my boyfriends and do all those should not do de thing, why they just don't trust me at all. I really feel so angry and sad and heart break of their un trust again. Fxxx what I really done wrong, is not my fault to have that quarrel with them that time. And I am speaking the true what, and I have been trying so hard to be in good relationship with them, but in the end what the hell I get?? All the blame and all, I really have enough, really sick and tired. If really can, I would just leave singapore leave this house. Don't force me to do so ='(

Reach home, went back to my own room and bathe and went back to sleep after that, so tired, and before I sleep I msg my beloved sis again and wish her a happy birthday too =) gal, have a good rest and enough rest too, you have been very tired this few days too. Take care k? Hope to see you soon too. =)

Linda

Today wake up at 9.15am and start washing up and saw wenya mei already wake up and start sweeping the floor and start calling for renter for mj for her auntie and all. After awhile we went out for our breakfast after the mj and the table is send to us. While waiting for our breakfast, wenya saw her mummy reach aranda country club and find us. We went out and call her, and pass her the room key, after that we went back for our tea and breakfast. After that, we went to shop for her mummy breakfast and went back to the room, and start preparing for night bbq. I wash up the corn and all and helped them to wrap it for bbq. In around evening time me and wenya went out to buy for ice for tonight drink too. After we went to buy our ice and all, the buffet food also coming soon, we went back to our room and after that went out to go and meet the buffet guy, and take all our food back to our room. 3 girl bringing back all the food to our room. Wenya was carrying till very heavy stuff, so I decided to change the box with her. All the same, all so heavy. Lolx. Cant help still have to carry back to our room. I carry and laughing all the way back. Wenya and her mummy walk so fast in front of me, cause they are challenge who can walk faster. I cannot taihan anymore, till I laught and dropped the box. Till I reach the lift and put down the box again. Went the lift door open, I carry back the box and turn over and walk out again, but 1 very funny thing happen again, I walked straight and thought that was wenya chalet room. In the end, wenya and her mummy was laughing and laughing till they almost dropped their box too. I make a U-turn and walk to the correct direction to her room. So paiseh siax, walk the wrong way. Lolx.

After that, went back and asked wenya to go for bathe and I set up fire for them too. Hehex, while setting up the fire, wenya already finish her bathe. And she come out and set up fire with me too. Hehex. After set up, I went shower too. After I finish my shower, wenya friends already start coming in, after bathe, straight away saw wenya mummy already at the side to start bbq for wenya friends. I help start helping her mummy to bbq all the lamp chop, satay and all for all the food. =)

BBQ the whole night today, been sweating the whole night doing the bbq. Hehex, never mind. As long as wenya's have a great time with her friends jiu hao. But the air-con is giving us alot of problem. Wenya have been asking technical person to come over and fix it. But in the end, the air-con still cant be fix. Just like in my room air-con, not cold at all. So angry with my room air-con too. Haix.

In the end, wenya called the shift manager, the manager say wanna come over to see the air-con, but she forget that our room outside cannot bbq, so when she tell her mummy the shift manager coming in and see the air-con, auntie was so angry and ask her, not to ask the manager to come in, cause of the smell of bbq and all. We will get fine cause we are not supposed to have bbq in the room there. So when the manager called our room phone, wenya have told her not to come in and the manager also apologise to her and decided to give her another room as the manager say the room is bigger for the apologise. And also asked wenya if any help we can ask them to come over and help us to move all our thing down to the new room. But thanks, we can manage ourselves =) right mei?? Luckily auntie also clever asked some of her friend to stay over and help to move all our stuff down to the new room. So we started to move all our thing bit by bit to our new room. So many thing to move worx.

While going up 2 to 3 time. I stay in the room and start un-pack all the stuff to the place where we put in the old room. As auntie have told me. So I make it fast and all to un-pack all the stuff to the old place where we place just now. While packing and all, I also start boiling hot water for our room. And start to remember where to put all the stuff too. Wenya father and brother also come to help and move all the stuff down for us.

After moving all the stuff down, wenya friend have all went back after we move all the stuff and some photo taking with wenya =). We all resting and went to bathe after the whole tired day. Hmmm. Auntie are staying overnight with us tonight in the chalet, while uncle and her brother just stay and eat all the food we have bbq and we all have not eaten the whole night, so auntie keep asking me and wenya to come and have some food. After eating some of the food, rest awhile and take a shower. After shower, again me and wenya have to wait for our hair to dry too.

This time round we didn't fall asleep on the sofa, cause while watching tv today, I was talking with her about my problem again, sorry mei again, have to hear about my problem and nagging too. Haix. Though I can stop thinking about it, but I still cant. Still cant understand why this will happen. Why thing turns to what it is? While talking to her, my bf suddenly msg me around 2plus in the midnight. I was like hmm...why out of sudden so late time he still haven sleep. Than he called my handphone, I answer it, but I wanna hang up the phone with him and asked him to go sleep, cause I am talking to my mei about my problem, but in the end, I make him angry. Cause I asked him to hang up asap, and he can feel that I really want him to hang up asap. Make me so angry also, cause I also need my own time and thing to breath.

I saw wenya also tired le, I let her go sleep while I sms my boyfriends and talk to him, but I dun wanna talk much to him too. The more I talk the more wrong it will get. So I am so tired, I go back to sleep after sms him 3-4 time. I go to sleep.

Angry sleep tonight~ ~
Linda

28th April 2008 (Off Day)

Today is my off day and also my start of my leave. Woke up at 10plus, and start wrapping wenya mei birthday present. After packing the present I start to check my bag, hope I didnt miss out any charger or anything that I need for the few days that I am going to stay overnight for the chalet with my sister. :) After checking and resting awhile, bathe hao. Take my bag and the present down to 1st level and went out to buy swtich plug and some small thing for the chalet that I needed =). Took bus back to my house bus-stop and waited for my maid to bring out my chalet bag and the present to pass to me, cause is too hot for me to walk back in and take out my bag and walk out to take bus again.

After my maid took out the bag for me, cross over and take bus to yishun choing pang and take 969 over to tampines, than from there plan to take cab straight to aranda country club. Reach tampines at around 2plus going 3pm. Still early for me to go over to chalet and find my sis, cause she ask me to go meet her at 4pm, so went to eat alone at tampines mall food court. After my meal, went to take cab down =) time to have fun in the chalet and relax myself. And I can stop thinking about all my family stuff. That's what I tell myself. Reach aranda country club give my mei a call and tell her I reach le. She coming to fetch me from the entrance.

Once reach chalet room, un-pack my stuff. And start clearing chalet living room with wenya. Rest awhile, and went with her to buy ice for the drink and some stuff. After reach back to the chalet start helping her to prepare all the buffet stuff. And start taking some photo, after that waiting for wenya's friend to come, some of her relative also come today to pass her all the drink and her buffet stuff. And lots and lots of thing, hehex :> Today whole day not that busy, I am sitting down on my personal place set up by wenya for me =), thanks sis, I still got my personal place and fix place to seat =). Seat on my personal place and help to open the door once got people come in :).

Whole night, wenya are so busy with her friends while me, seating down and watch tv. Till everything is over, me and her cousin start to help her pack up all the buffet food. I didnt eat much, cause don't feel like eating. She so poor thing alot of her friends put her airplane, than leave alot of food behind tonight. And her cousin, mummy have been complaining about the food quality. Not that good and not very nice. Poor mei, got blame cause leave over so much food, and nag by her mummy cause of the food quality. Not she want the food quality to be like this also de worx. After everyone have leave, me and wenya start sweeping the floor and mopping the floor. And her cousin help her to finish some bbq food and some food. Her mummy went back and pack some stuff for wenya too. Wenya friend help her to send her mummy back home. After finishing all the stuff. Me and wenya rest awhile before we go for our shower. Is already midnight 12plus, while we go and our shower her cousin, was eating her bbq stuff :) while me also help to eat abit.

Was watching tv, while waiting for our hair to dry. While waiting and watching tv, we both are too tired till we fall asleep on the sofa. Till wenya suddenly remember she forget to do thing and went back to the room, and I heard the noise I wake up and realise myself sleeping on the sofa too. So went back to the room with her, and we start sleeping in our bed. Good night mei, u have a tired day too, have a good rest, tomorrow will be another busy day. =)

Linda

Today is my off day, due to yesterday night slept at 4am in the morning, I sleep till nearly 1pm today. Although I have set my alarm clock to 11plus I off it and go back to sleep. Actually want to go out early and go bugis pray pray, after that go bishan j8 meet my friend and take all my wash face item and etc. In the end, when I wake up at 1am my house here rain so heavily till I cant go out. And once I wake up, try to on my desktop, I cant open it, monitor show no signal but I still hear the fans of the cpu still working. But than monitor not working, I try to switch on and off again for 3 time, and still cant open the monitor I know something really not right liao. Haix. Desktop spoil le. I call up acer service helpdesk and ask them to send technical person to come over to help me see what happen to my desktop. Booked on this coming thursday 3pm-5pm.

After called up for my desktop, I start preparing to go out. When out at 3plus, still raining. Went out with umbrella. Went back home at 7pm. Reach home 8pm. After reach home, bathe, upload blog here and going to sleep soon. Tomorrow have to work morning shift. So tired.

On the 6th April. I am too stress and I smoke with one of my colleague. Have not been touching it since last year February. Have been 1 years even since I touch it that day. Haix. So stress that I nearly drop my tears while smoking that day.

Linda

It have been month I didn't update my post, today is my off day. Sleep till 10plus I guess till "YW" called me and ask me something, forgotten what he ask me and what I reply him, I only know the last sentence I told him was later I wake up le, than I message him. I just feel so tired that I went back and sleep till nearly 12noon. Wake up, on my computer and start playing online game. Till my maid went into my room at 2plus and bring up my breakfast cum lunch. Than I realise I haven brush up and everything the whole day. So lazy of me today. After she come into my room and clear my room, I went to wash up. hehex. It's have been 2week plus since I didn't talk to them. This 2 week have been so hard for me to pass, I only talk to customer and ask what they want and all, the rest of the time I just like a mute person after work.

It's really hurt me so much. Why it turns out to be what it is now?? Is I say thing too hush in the quarreling le ma? But I am saying the truth that have been keep inside for long. But it seem to be all wrong. This time round I really don't know how to make thing back to normal and start talking to them again. 心痛到沒有言語可以 describe. I everyday see those family show, my tears will automatically drops none stop. Now even I walk pass my mummy I also didn't do any eye contact with her. I don't know is I scare to see her cold eyes towards me again or scare even I do eye contact with her, she will turn away from me. So for all this 2 week, it's have been really totally stranger. Eat dinner at home, eat alone, watch tv never watch in my level 1 living room le. In my own room the whole day. In my family, even we really care for each other ye hao, or what no one will say out by words or do any action to let the person know that we care, even we know we are in the wrong, we also wont apologise. This is what happen now, been 2 week. How?? I really .......sad...... haix...

But I have to thanks for all the concern and care from my dearest wendy mei mummy. Thanks for letting me feel warm inside ("V") here. Thanks for asking me for dinner sometime when I got such big fight at home. And also not forgetting my da jie and wenya mei, although da jie didn't know what had happen to me at home yet, but thanks for asking. And thanks to wenya mei for listening to all my nagging and old repeated story when we went to da jie grandma wake.

Went out at 7pm and going to meet "YW" and his friend for movie. Before I went out and get prepared to go out. My auntie called my hp and ask me wanna go out with my mummy later anot, cause my uncle treating them for dinner at Jumbo restaurant. I say no, u all never tell me earlier yesterday I already have my own plan, can't last minutes cancel my thing. And she hang up the call. :( :(  This should be a very good chance to talk or get well with my mummy. But I can't last minutes tell my friends I cant go, cause they already book the tickets to go out le la. Haix. Wrong timing. sad.

Linda

Today is my first day of work after my 2 days of off. Today wake up at 4.20am to start preparing for work.Cab coming at 5.20am to fetch me to work. Uncle was late this morning, hack care anyway if the uncle is late and I am late for work, is not our fault to be blame. The stupid "kong pu feng zi", hai all stuff today go work have to scan all our pass to get through the gate.Haix. So long que lo. Reach work at 5.52am, punch card and arrange all the necessary thing.

Start work, no much flight flying again, so sianx and tired. While when stock come do stock and do arrangement. Today my sales not bad, good ('',)

Work and work, chit chat and joke with my colleague too. Joke till "E" (our buyer of all the product) walk into the shop also don't know, when we know is already too late le, cause he just in front of us, and ask who are the supervisor for the day and for this shift. OMG, so scary siax. In the end, he also heard we play chinese song in the shop. Tell us we are not allow to play chinese song lo. Ask we all to on english song instead of chinese song. Haix, so bo bian, I have to off my ipod, cause I am playing my ipod on the speaker.

When for break at 1.08pm, actually plan to have a short nap, but in the end met my colleague out too, so went and play on facebook awhile and watch youtube on ghost video. And after that chit chat with her awhile. After that, when she went back to shop, I take a 5mins eyes close rest. Really so tired. Luckily today work morning can go home and rest early today. Hehex.

Went back to shop at 1.54pm, and rest more in the store, but who know camera come stock so started helping "B" to arrange our camera shelf and make space for more than 60plus set of new camera. Almost forget to punch my card in after my break worx. 1 minutes late from back or come to work will straight away minus 20buck for the first time. Can't afford to be late too many time, cause even 1 minutes to us is so costly siax.

Work for another 1 more hours and I can go back home le, before end work, serve the few last customer and back I go at 3.35pm, take bus back home. So tired. Reach home, eat my early dinner and play with my youngest sister for awhile, before I get back to my own room. And went back to my room for a shower. After that, watch tv and drink my medicine too, so long never drink those kinda medicine, so ku lo. Haix. Come online chat with wenya and "YW". Night people.

 Congrats to my shifu for her 2nd baby girl is born this morning :)
And Congrats Sam for her 2nd baby boy last sunday morning :)

Linda

Today is my off day...I guess I am really mentally tired of alot of thing. I can sleep till nearly 2pm wake up, and still don't want to wake up. This is really my first time sleep till so late and still don't wanna wake up. Never in my life.

Wake up, wash up. Online do nothing, and after awhile went down to have my breakfast cum lunch. After eating, eat some fruits and watch tv in the living room. Didn't talk to anyone at all. After that went back to my own room and rot again at 4plus, on my heater and wait for my bathe. In the end, I forget that I on my heater watch tv and play facebook and chat with some friends on msn, and forget to bathe till 8pm. My heater gone too hot le. SHIT~! After bathe, went down to have my dinner at 8plus, and while eating dinner, some thing happen man~ My auntie misunderstand that I stand up for my maid, and misunderstand me say that I say she scold my maid or say my maid something. Haix. Why like this, I just ask my daddy what he want my maid to take for him and say I really didn't heard properly what my daddy want at first ma. And my auntie say, she didn't scold maid at all lo, why me and my mummy same don't like people to say or scold maid at all de, and say you think she will help us work till we old izit? In future, ask your maid to do all the thing for you all, don't call me to do lo. I was like, keep quiet and let her nag lo. But really what lo, I don't mind that she scold maid or nag at maid wrong what, is just that I yaya my auntie only what. Why she so sensitive with??

And for no reason, I wu yan wu ku step on her tails and I don't know. My life is getting more and more meaningless. I getting more and more tired too. Peng You for years de betray, let me more and more no confident at anything I do, and cause of this betray, is more and more not easy for me to stay in my current job too. Towards family, is like more and more far distance we have between us too. Never talk to each other almost whole day also no problem, what is this man~!

And when sis are sick I also don't know, must read than know. And feel I really not a good person at all, everyone always did so much on me, but what have I done for them?? Do I did as much as other people do for me?? Towards any relationship now, I really handle till like shit man !!!!!

Linda